STRAPPING YOUNG LAD Drummer: 'I'm In Vegas, Dammit! Show Me Some Titties!'

STRAPPING YOUNG LAD drummer Gene Hoglan has posted the following tour update via the band's official web site:

"Well, well, well. Let me just say this; VEGAS WAS A BLAST! Holy fuck, what an awesome time! First off, everybody in the STRAPPING family would like to congratulate Byron and his lovely bride Laurie on their wedding on Thanksgiving. A nice little reception in Vegas, and no Elvises! But, in attendance were the entire 'Category 5' tour, John B. and Jeff from DEVILDRIVER, Tomas from MESHUGGAH, Dave from the DICKIES, our best bro Arnold the Pornstar, tons of Century/Nuclear Blast folks, my mom and dad, LOADS of our friends, both Canadian and American, the bride and groom's families, and one passed-out flower girl. Well, she was only 1, so ya can't blame her. But, I tell ya, you coulda dropped a plane on the ceremony and wiped out a hearty metal contingent...

"Directly after the wedding, we adjourned to Byron's bro, the high-rollin' Bud Rustler's suite, and proceeded to have THE MOST ROCKIN' PARTY OF ALL-TIME! My God, what a RAGER! 100 people STUFFED into a styin' Vegas suite, with a mightily electric atmosphere. Everybody having a great time, conversations at 120 decibels, EVERYONE was talking at the top of their lungs, as matter of fact, Peter from DARKANE leaned over to me and shouted, 'Man, it's louder than a concert in here!' to which I replied, 'No thanks, I don't drink beer!' It was LOUD! Truly a fantastic time, and quite well-needed. Yeah, we needed ANOTHER great time. This tour has been nothing but!

"I played the 'Vodka Fairy' pretty well, too. I don't drink the stuff anymore, but I sure as hell will make sure YOU do! It was my plan to Vodka Fairy (which pretty much is just walkin' around with a bottle of vod, tapping everyone on the shoulder and makin' 'em DRINK) ALL THE OTHER BANDS, and leave mine out, so EVERYBODY would feel like poo the next day, 'cept us! And hell, wave a bottle of OhMyGodka in front o' some Swedes, and that's like flashin' a tit at a newborn.

"I even gambled and won. Holy shit, the gods were indeed smiling. Played another House of Blues last night, and that was amazing! The crowd was totally into it, and it was by far the best show any of us have ever had in Vegas. Thank you, all you Vegas crazies for turning up and showing us your lung-power. Funny, I never thought I'd ever be saying something like that aboot Vegas. After the show, Dev and I were in a bit of a conundrum over some laws of physics involving the beam of light eminating from the Luxor pyramid.

"'Why Dev, if the Luxor is way over there, does its beam look as if it's directly overhead?' asks a baffled Gene.

"'Hmm, good question, that's kinda freaking me out actually,' replies an equally boggled Dev.

"Then, Burton, in his laconic way, steps in and imparts, 'Curvature of the Earth, dudes.' Ahh, thank you, Burt, for answering that question. Which just started good ol' Bud Rustler discoursing on Einstein's theories of laser refraction back from the edge of the universe, which got me to thinking, 'I'm in Vegas, dammit! Show me some titties!'

"So tonight, we're in Phoenix, and we're lookin' to rip shit up again. It's Dev's wife, Tracy's birthday, and since she's oot with us, I have a feeling I might be turning into the 'Jager Fairy' tonight..."